There isn’t anything I will do that may compromise my self-respect.
Does this sound confusing? If you think so, and it’s not quite sitting right, that’s exactly my point.
Guarding one’s values is a constant battle as we struggle and search to define lines of what’s right and wrong.
There isn’t anything I will do that may compromise my self-respect. This simply means that I don’t care how popular the notion is, I am not doing it if it doesn’t feel right.
What else does it mean? It could mean that I’m dating you and I’m enjoying it, but I’m not disclosing that I’m dating someone else. Okay. So you find out through another person – “the grapevine” – the “rumor mill” – and then you also have the third person with the hard-line gossip, which is always defeating, that the person you thought was nice, is actually not so nice and somewhat dishonest.
When this occurs it says so much about the person who you thought was honest, and it says so much about the people who have become the beneficiary of your news (and they’re never sweet about it). They’re now connected to you in some creepy way.
The Lesbian Scene seems to be a circular path. It’s the push and pull, the in and out of relationships that leaves you feeling with the distrust. The distrust churns away in a whirling blender mixed with deceit and depravity, where suddenly “X” knows you’re broken up and they know, too, “X” is going with “Y”.
Why can’t women simply take a long breath and chill out, and maximize this time to heal the internal emotion? Instead they’re restless. They jump in and out of transient relationships, dating, bedding, with no thoughts of their self-worth because they did not take the time to be alone.
The Lesbian Scene is a transient lifestyle where women bend over backwards for reasons other than to lend you a hand. They think of nothing of betraying a friendship and suddenly, through that darn grapevine, here comes your confidence that you thought was a secret. Ooops. How uncomfortable.
It is remarkable how quickly a week goes by in a lesbian’s life. There is no consistency – it would be sheer boredom for a lesbian to stay and be silent, you know, just chill. It’s torture. They must go. They’ll go anywhere. They go in and out a revolving door – and not just any door but preferably, a popular door. Their search never ends.
The lesbian will run if they encounter someone with too much baggage; they run from “drama”. They don’t like drama. But they are the first to start the drama and the ugly gossip with spite and aggression and find countless ways to perpetuate the very thing they boast to themselves and friends they try to avoid.
I wonder how these behaviors manifest themselves. Are they learned in childhood? Are they? I’m unsure about this one. Or maybe it’s that women who continue to get smacked down come out fighting? Maybe this leads to their drama.
But the Digital Age captures your personal life and it’s out there for the world to see. So its good practice to hone your skills on self-respect and the mastery of this is to have the foresight to be discreet.
Doctors take the Hippocratic Oath when they graduate which espouses this creed, Primum Non Nocere, which translates to “First, do no harm.”
Some lesbians need to go back to school.
A Hardscrabble Daughter 
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